Thursday, August 11, 2011

Lack of Blog

As some of you may have noticed, I have not posted recently.  I thought to tell you why.

When I began this blog, I was just coming off my first year of being disabled to the point that I was/am pretty much bed-bound.  The first year was very hard for a number of boring reasons I won't go into just now.  One main problem when you are bed-bound is BORDOM!   Your life is slipping away and you can't do all the things you want to do.  Heck, you can't do most of the things, maybe even all of the things, that you want to do.   You just have to lie there, not doing anything.   Bummer.

But then I felt that I needed to reach out. I am a minister, after all, and my job is to minister to others.  Hence, The Blog.

Previously I had served some 5 churches over the last 21 years.  I figured I could use some of my homilies, as well as write some new ones.  Unfortunately, a lot of sermons and homilies have been lost during various moves over the years, so I didn't have nearly as many as I thought I had.  I was having to come up with new stuff.

My brain fog roared into being, making it diffficult to string together a sentance, much less ideas, in a coherent fashion.  Plus, I am very good at putting pressure on myself to 'get something done' -- which creates stress.  Sadly, when I am stressed, Brain Fog moves in.

And frankly, I have not had a lot to say.  At least not things I think anyone wants to hear.

Lately, I have been having several good hours a day, when I can kinda sit up in bed (OK, more like slouching) and do artwork. (I still have trouble reading and even watching movies, because my brain can't always follow the storyline).  When I got into Zentangles, It was wonderful.  Small, easily done items, not too big for bed art and oh, so lovely.  But I could not give up on my love for polymer clay either.  So the Mandalas came into being.  I can get up for a short time and make canes.  Then when in bed, I can slice them and have my roommate bake them.  Later I can put them together.  Again, good bed art.

I have to admit that any art is made more difficult when the cats and dogs try to help.  And while I am in bed, I am easily accessable to them.  Sigh.  I have had to give up on needlework and beading.  Much as I enjoy those artforms, the cats enjoy them more.

As some of you may have noticed, the U.S. economy is . . . having issues.  And some of those issues directly affect me.  I am living on a small pension, plus disbility.  I am old enough for Social Security now and all the talk of getting rid of SS has given me a few sleepless nights.  I'm quite sure that many of you know exactly what that feels like.

I cannot hold down a job, for obvious reasons.  But I need more income (it's very diffiuclt to live on $838.00 a month).  Well, some good friends have been urging me to sell my artwork.  This presents difficulties because I am no salesperson at all.  But some of my work is good and folks like it -- and some of my friends are willing to work at the local art guild for me and perhaps even a booth at the Friday Art Fair.  So, with what little energy and time I have, I have been doing art.    All my energy has pretty much been taken up by the artwork. 

 And frankly, I have not been thinking about the blog.

So, I have not been posting here.  And I pologize for that.  I cannot promise that I will do better, but from time to time I will post a little something here, or share some artwork.   I still have a lot of stories to share.

Now, please do not think I am asking for sympathy.  I don't need any, thank you.  I find that I am now happier than at any other time in my life.  I love the stillness.  I love having the time to think things through (even though it now takes me a lot longer).  I love watching the sky change during the course of a day, or watch my animals, just being themselves and leading their own lives. I love cuddling with them when they are worn out by play or they just want to be close.   And I have a small handfull of phone friends that are pure Gold.  I am blessed, indeed.

So come on back here, whenever you feel like it.  Drop me a note if you wish.  I will try to visit your sites more often and leave notes.

Take care, my friends.


  1. It must be very hard for you to know you have the words in there somewhere, sometimes words are hard for me to find but creating a Zentangle flows like a dream. It is great that we can share our art without the feeling of being judged. I actually like to just post a Zentangle and let this wonderful art method tell the story alone. Hope you are feeling better.

  2. I'll be praying for you and hoping that you get all of the art time you need to make your beautiful creations. I'm supposed to retire in three years and the thought of maybe having to just work the rest of my life until I drop dead in my chair at work IS a scary though.