Friday, June 8, 2012

On Being Fat

On Being Fat

When I was a child, I was skinny.  As I grew, that didn’t really change.  I was rail-thin until around my 40s.  Then I started gaining a little bit of weight, not much, but almost enough to bring me within 10 pounds of my ideal weight.  That took until my mid-50s.
At that point, the doc put me on some meds.  All of a sudden, I started gaining weight.  A lot of it!  And now I am officially fat.

I’m not sure it matters that much to me.  I don’t mind, except that I don’t like looking in the mirror and all my former clothes are useless.  Other than that, it doesn’t really make any difference to me (I should point out I am single, so I just have myself to consider).

Now, I have never cared about fat.  I never even noticed it when I chose my friends, so consequently my friends come in all colors, shapes and sizes.  But after a while, I admit, sometimes I looked at my larger friends with a certain amount of envy.  So I think it is time for me to come out of the closet and say a few things that I never said to anyone’s face.

My personal top 10 Reasons to like being Fat (Assuming the person likes themselves.  Nobody  looks good if they don’t like themselves.):

1.    Small children and animals prefer fat people.  We are more cuddly, softer, and comforting.  When we hold someone on our laps, they are enveloped in softness, reassuring them that all is well and that they are OK.   You don’t get that same reassurance from a bony person.

2.   Same is true for hugs, fat people are soft and comforting.  Bony people are not as nice an armful.  They have sharp edges and elbows.  Fat people are warm and welcoming.  Our hugs are wonderful!

3.   Small children tend to obey us quicker.

4.   Fat women have more variety in clothes. As a larger person, I tend to wear looser, more comfortable clothing.  I don’t much care what the going fashion is, I wear what I like and I look great in the Mother Earth –type clothing!

5.    When a fat woman puts on a dress or a tunic (my personal favorite), you can see the fabric.  All the pretty colors and designs are right there.  On a slender person, the cloth hangs in folds or else the area of cloth is so small that you cannot see the patterns or colors on a grand scale. 

6.   Larger women have curves.

7.   A large woman can wear large jewelry.  Personally, I am not a fan of small stones, like diamonds, etc.  I like the dramatic, one-of-a-kind jewelry.  And a thousand diamonds are too fussy for me compared to a sleek, well-designed modern piece of polymer clay or metal.  I also like the ‘ethnic’ jewelry, and that always looks best on a larger pallet.

8.   A large person has PRESENCE.  When we walk into a room, you know it.  When we speak, people tend to listen.  When we preach, with any luck at all, we will be believed (OK, so as a minister, I notice those things).

9.   If a larger person has any sort of self-esteem at all, we will be perceived as having authority or knowledge.  If a larger woman wear heels, her feet will hit the floor with a loud, authoritative “Clump”.

10.                 As a larger person, I tend to be a restful presence.  My laughter is highly contagious.  My words of reassurance are given weight.  My shoulders are strong enough to cry on.

Now, I invite you to share your favorite reasons.