Moving to California

 Take what you like and leave the rest.

I moved from northern Indiana to southern California for a job and I had with me my entire family with me.  My entire family, at that point, consisted of 5 cats, a reasonable albeit largish number.  But when you are driving across country, that number starts to feel unmanageable.

I was fortunate, I had a dear friend who was willing to do most of the driving.  And, the cats did not serenade us – much to my surprise.  I had fully anticipated a 2000 mile song of unhappiness.  But the cats settled down in their moving cages and only when we stopped did I hear a questioning sound from the back. 

We knew that we would have to stop at least twice to spend a night in a motel.  But, what to do with the cats when we stopped?   Leaving them in the vehicle did not seem realistic, nor fair.  So the first night we took all the cages into the rooms with us.  Then we set up a litter box and let the cats out to stretch their legs.

Now, this sounds like a reasonable idea, but you have to remember that 2 of the cats were nearly feral and none of them wanted to be put back into the cages for another’s day of driving.  In fact, a couple of them had been downright difficult about being shoved into the cages in the first place.  And a mere two grown women are no real match for a 12 pound determined cat.  (I was also worried that the cats would mess in the room, not in their litter boxes.  Fortunately, they were reasonable on that score.  They preferred the litter to the carpet.)

So, when the dawn came, we showered and dressed, then began the task of rounding up the cats.  As unfair as it was, we took the easy ones first (remember, when you are talking about putting cats in cages, “easy” is a relative term).  We rested after we applied the disinfectants to our arms and hands, then we tried getting the difficult ones.  First, we had to find them.  This sounds like an easy task.  After all, how many places can a cat hide in a small, enclosed room? 

You would be surprised.

My friend and I swore that neither one of us had opened the door during the night, yet we were short two cats.  We simply could not figure out how they escaped.  They were not under the beds, nor in any of the drawers, nor hiding in the bathroom.  We were pretty sure we had not, by mistake, packed them. 

By this time, we were getting fairly hungry and wanted breakfast.  But opening the door sounded like a recipe for disaster.   So we were stuck until we could find them.   Sadly, going without breakfast does not improve one’s temper (or at least not mine).  Names were used, names that are not repeatable in polite society.  The cats ignored us and continued to be invisible.

We gave up and were extremely careful as we left to get something to eat.  We theorized on how they could have gotten out or where they might be.  Sadly, we came to no firm conclusion.  When we returned to the room, both cats were sitting comfortably on the beds, but were spooked by our return (after all, we were the enemy).  Unfortunately for them, this time we could see them and where they went.

This time, they did not use the really good hiding places (they saved those in case they would have to use them again).  One went under a bed and it only took tearing the mattress and box springs off the frame to terrify the cat enough to grab it.  The other cat foolishly ran into the bathroom where we could corner it.  We shut the door until we could get to him.

You might think this was the end of things, but no, the struggle had just begun.  Cats, you see, have claws.  Four full sets of them.  Plus teeth.  And if they do not want to enter a 10 inch door to a cage, it is very difficult to stuff them in against their will.  Throwing a towel over the cat and quickly wrapping it up so it has no access to its claws, well that is easier said than done.

Also, trapping a cat in a small bathroom is not all that easy.  There is enough room for a cat behind the commode, but not so much for people.  And it is a very defensible position when you are armed with sharp things at the end of your paws.  In the end, we won, but it was not a pretty sight.

We re-applied the antiseptics & bandages and loaded the cat cages into the vehicle and began our second day of driving, knowing full well that we had at least one more night on the road, with a repeat performance.  It was somewhat disheartening.

I have to share one moment with you.  We were listening my collection of music.  Now, my friends will tell you, I have terrible taste in music.  I listen to new age and old movie themes – and Brian Eno.  No one but me likes them.  Nonetheless, I had the music on loud as we drove over the western plains and up the Rocky Mountains.  Just as we hit the other side of the mountains and began our decent, the whole panorama of the American west lay before us, and the theme music to “The Magnificent Seven” came on. 

It could not have been more perfect.

All in all, moving was a somewhat harrowing experience.  I will spare you the details of the second night and subsequent cage-loading.  Suffice it to say, everyone lived, even thought it was a close call.

But now that we are here, I love it.  Imagine, living in a place where Palm trees grow!

I have no plans to ever move again.  The cats agree with me.

My friends in Virginia say that they have had snow already.  Here, in the high desert of California, it is getting chilly at night.  I imagine that in Australia it is getting warmer.

The seasons change, as do our lives.  We cannot stay the same. We become a new person every day.  We can choose to continue the old person or we can be very different from who we were.  We decide.
Yet some small part of us keeps all the people that we have been, for they are all a part of making us who we are today.  And our choices today will influence who we shall be tomorrow.

May we make wise choices today.

Words

Since I was a little child, I loved the way language worked.  I loved puns and double-meanings.   And most of all, I loved neat turns of phrases or new ideas in a cleaver way..  When I was a little older, I started collecting things that people would say.  After a time, I was turned on to the world of quotes.

Then, in Virginia, I met a woman who sold her art in the form of "Bon Mots".  She would write up something and put artwork around it.  I liked it and asked her if I could borrow the idea.  She laughed and said that I was free to do so, but she didn't think it was her original idea.

So lately, I have been taking some of my favorite quotes and putting artwork with them.  They are all on 5" by 7" paper.  I have a limited amount of prints of each of them, and each one has an acrylic frame to display it.  Sadly, I am not a great photographer, so you will have to click on the picture to see it clearly.

The one about is an example.of my 'Musings', as I call them.

the rest of the Happiness Tips

OK, I'm pretty tired these days and I have lost some enthusiasm for the Happiness Tips.  So I'm just going to put up the rest of them and then get on to something else here.
Thank you for your patience.

Recently, I read an article about 12  things that Happy People do differently than the rest of us. These things are called “Happiness Tips   

I include here what they said and some of my thoughts on the issue.  I offer this to you in hopes that we may start a dialogue, although some folks have told me they have trouble leaving a message.  Please try.

Tip #6

Develop strategies for coping. – How you respond to the ‘craptastic’ moments is what shapes your character. Sometimes crap happens – it’s inevitable. Forrest Gump knows the deal. It can be hard to come up with creative solutions in the moment when manure is making its way up toward the fan. It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.

Tip #7

Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being. You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and present emotion. When you ‘hate’ someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are eating away at your immune system. You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays with you throughout your day.

Tip #8

Increase flow experiences. – Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still. It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you become one with the task. Action and awareness are merged. You’re not hungry, sleepy, or emotional. You’re just completely engaged in the activity that you’re doing. Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.

Tip #9

Savor life’s joys. – Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy. It’s easy in a world of wild stimuli and omnipresent movement to forget to embrace life’s enjoyable experiences. When we neglect to appreciate, we rob the moment of its magic. It’s the simple things in life that can be the most rewarding if we remember to fully experience them.

Tip #10

Commit to your goals. – Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force. Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere. When you’re fully committed to doing something, you have no choice but to do that thing. Counter-intuitively, having no option – where you can’t change your mind – subconsciously makes humans happier because they know part of their purpose.

Tip #11

Practice spirituality. – When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us. We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever. It enables us to connect to the source of all creation and embrace a connectedness with everything that exists. Some of the most accomplished people I know feel that they’re here doing work they’re “called to do.”

Tip #12

Take care of your body. – Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be. If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected. Did you know that studies conducted on people who were clinically depressed showed that consistent exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft? Not only that, but here’s the double whammy… Six months later, the people who participated in exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.

Happiness tip # 5

Recently, I read an article about 12  things that Happy People do differently than the rest of us. These things are called “Happiness Tips   

I include here what they said and some of my thoughts on the issue.  I offer this to you in hopes that we may start a dialogue, although some folks have told me they have trouble leaving a message.  Please try.

Happiness Tip # 5

Nurture social relationships. – The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Did you know studies show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely? WHOA! There’s a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having an active circle of good friends who you can share your experiences with. We feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.

Boy, do I agree with this one!  We need each other.  Human beings are meant to live in community.  Social relationships, or friends, are vital to well-being. 

We are so busy these days that it is easy to let friendships slide.  Even those who are healthy find themselves often losing track of folks they enjoy or care about.

Don't do that to yourself.  Reach out.  Keep in touch with the special folks in your life -- and don't waste time with folks who do not care about your well-being.

And for those of us who are chronically ill, we know it’s not an easy thing to accomplish. In fact, even the advice to 'be in community' , may feel like a slap in the face. And old friends may not be around any longer.  Being house-bound or bed-bound does not lend itself to making friends. Sadly, being ill makes a lot of friends and family run in the other direction.   I do recommend on-line groups, boards and chats if you have few In Real Life Friends.  It does make a difference.

What do you think?

Happiness Tip #4

Recently, I read an article about 12  things that Happy People do differently than the rest of us. These things are called “Happiness Tips   

I include here what they said and some of my thoughts on the issue.  I offer this to you in hopes that we may start a dialogue, although some folks have told me they have trouble leaving a message.  Please try.

Practice acts of kindness. – Performing an act of kindness releases serotonin in your brain. (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.) Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside. What’s even cooler about this kindness kick is that not only will you feel better, but so will people watching the act of kindness. How extraordinary is that? Bystanders will be blessed with a release of serotonin just by watching what’s going on. A side note is that the job of most anti-depressants is to release more serotonin. Move over Pfizer, kindness is kicking ass and taking names.

My Thoughts: at least two of the on-line groups I participate in have RAKs, that is, Random Acts of Kindness.  It’s where we send out a random act of kindness.  We may or may not know the recipient.  We may or may not let them know who we are.  It’s just for the fun of doing something for someone else.

What do you think?

Happiness Tip #3

Recently, I read an article about 12  things that Happy People do differently than the rest of us. These things are called “Happiness Tips   

I’m not sure I agree with all of them and I am not sure it is inclusive of some very other important “Happiness Tips”.

I include here some of my thoughts on the issue.  I offer this to you in hopes that we may start a dialogue.

Avoid social comparison.

Here, they were talking about comparing yourself to other people and it is maintained that this action is Poisonous! 

I totally agree with this one!  It’s a no-win situation.

 If we think we are better than someone, we inflate our egos and put brakes on trying to improve ourselves.   It gives us permission to look down on others, never a healthy thing to do.  .  And there is always the possibility that we may be wrong, the other person Is better.

If we think we are not as good as someone else, we put ourselves down and our self-esteem can suffer.  It’s a good way to cultivate envy and resentments.

You and I and everyone else, each of us has a unique way of looking at things, of expressing ourselves, of being human.  We are each remarkable, unrepeatable, individuals.

 Comparisons always make someone suffer, and seldom, if ever, come from a healthy place.

What do you think?